How we do!!!

HAPPY 2014 from South Africa!!!!! Started the year in a vintage double breast maybe that determines the look for the year. My advise do everything when everyone is tired of it. I have to go before I get murdered for not playing a song. Happpppppppyyyyyy!!!!!

RAPPERS EXPOSED!!!

I’m sure all you fudge cakes missed me even though you sometimes forget that I exist and not view my blog todays inconsistent publish is on Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’s “The Heist” which I have just got a chance to listen to, just to spell it out for any potential ignorant kid out there no the album didn’t reach South Africa shores in 2013(I might be because I can be cheap skate in that I wait for someone I know to but he album then I borrow it)  I have to say I’m impressed with the album itself I downloaded it on itunes. Macklemore put himself out there and said I’m not going to be you typical Lil Wayne and that might cause him a whole lot of trouble because I will be hard for him to be seen wearing a designer or trying to pull a Shabba.

He started all this smart yet lethal idea with thrift shop, which my favourite line is “I hit the party and they stop in that mother***, they be like on that’s hella tight, I’m like Yo that’s fifty dollars for a t-shirt, fifty dollars for a t-shirt that’s some ignorant shit, I call that getting tricked by a business”. He continues with wing$, while Miley and Mike will made it sing about being in a with some shades, tank top, mini skirt with some jays on, Macklemore says “It started out, with what I wear to school, that first, like these are what make you cool and this pair, this would be my parachute, so much more than just a pair of shoes, nah this is what I am, what I wore, this is the source of my youth, this dream that they sold to you, for a hundred dollars and some change, consumption is in the veins and now I see IT’S JUST ANOTHER PAIR OF SHOES”.

I have to say he has managed to single make a lot of rappers sound like the dim wits that we always knew they wear.

To Macklemore I hope you are able to sustain these standards, it’s probably going to be had because your wardrobe is now under scrutiny but as a handsome irishish rapper once said make the money don’t let the money make you.

  

My fabulous holiday plans

So I haven't been plublishing for close to four months now and I have to I missed you guys a lot like lot lot but I was too afraid because my life has been rather sucky. My holidays have started and trust me I have a few things planned which might cost my parents tons of money but only if the agree. So my holidays start with me going to the Moses Mabhida stadium can you believe it I have lived in durban all my life and I have never done a tour. Next stop will be the golden mile followed by the guba gorge horse trail, the Durban north Japanese gardens which I hear is absolutely amazing, the calypso dive and adventure centre where I will be in a tube while being surrounded by sharks. I will then go to paint ball adventure which I have to say has been a fascination for ever since the ten most things I hate about you. Then swat laser tag games. I will then eat myself to diabetes at waffle express. Make a fool of myself at stardust karaoke for everyone. Get my figure ready for a boat cruise at Wilson's wharf. Coco's at Florida. Moyo at the Pier. The Sandbar restaurant, Zanzibar restaurant and finally Billy the bums which I recommend and I have never even been there but I have to say the reviews are absolutely awesome. For dad's bank card and mum's car at the ready. I have to say I cannot wait!!!

AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT (I apologise for my english)

So a few weeks ago I sent my 10 weird ways to keep warm without spooning to college humor and this is what they said:

“Dear Lucashley

Thank you for submitting you article entitled 10 weird ways to keep warm without spooning to college humor. Our editors decided that it is not quite right for us, but we encourage that you keep sending your ideas.

Thank you

College Humor”

When I finished reading this I was baffled because how can a post be viewed 37 times if it is not quite right. Which is why on this day at the UKZN computer labs, I’m proposing a toast to 10 weird ways to keep warm without spooning and many more views to come.

P.S THEY DON’T DESERVE ME ANYWAY BUT I WILL STILL VIEW THEIR WEBSITE.

 

YOU MIND MATTERS!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE
There isn't a lot I can say because this video just stands out on its own but I have to say I finally have hope for mankind.

10 USELESS THINGS PEOPLE CONSIDER AS HOBBIES

I myself do not know what the world has turned into. So while I was surfing the Internet (because it’s easier less waves and the only danger is bad network not being mistaken for a seal by a shark) something popped up and inspired this publish. 10 Useless Things People Consider As Hobbies:

1.     Calligraphy. If you are Greek please don’t be offended but what is the point of learning to write differently.

2.   Collecting dolls and doll houses. Unless it is a Darth Vader action figure throw the stupid doll away and stop hoarding.

3.  Ghost hunting. Well this hobby has led to a ridiculous TV show which actually has seasons I’m sure people know it Ghost Lab where you actually don’t see the ghost but rather grown men screaming saying that they were touched by ghosts that it talked.

4. Metal detecting. Last time I checked that only happened at airports and schools so I don’t know whether these people are retired security guards or old prefects.

5. Puppetry. This was fun before kids started playing with ipads. Seriously the world is evolving please do so as well.

6.  Train riding or collecting. The idea of an old person playing with toys is just plain weird. You can call them model trains but the fact still remains that they were created for child entertainment.

7.    Remote controlling. This one was mainly put here for its name, for a moment I actually thought that it is when people collect a bunch of remotes but actually it is anything that contains radio remote control which actually isn’t that exciting unless you are controlling a real car like those guys on Top Gear UK to be specific.

8.   Yo-yoing. Please note that even I who was born during the peak of yoyos do not play with yoyos anymore.

9.  Mushroom hunting. Portabella, brown, porcini all these are mushrooms fantastic mushrooms. Wild mushrooms are vile and toxic tasting. So I’m sorry to burst your bubble but please quit now.

10. Parkouring. The fact that this has turned into a career I do not know how. But everything is a career in America even pumpkin carving YES pumpkin carving.  

Please don’t think that because this list is small there is less.  

20 THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE EXPERIENCED AT 18!!

So today I viewed GREG RUTTER’S DEFINITIVE LIST OF THE 99 THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE ALREADY EXPERIENCED ON THE INTERNET UNLESS YOU ARE A LOSER OR OLD OR SOMETHING. 

This article has inspired me to write:

20 THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE EXPERIENCED AT 18!

1.     I have to say if you have never experienced this and you are with your parents please apply to go to a foster home. The first thing that you should have experienced is peanut butter and jam (this is best with preserved mixed berries jam) to accommodate Americans it’s peanut butter and jelly.

2.     If you haven’t experienced Barney not the pervert from How I met your mother (he is legendary) I mean the purple big boned bear that likes giving group hugs You Suck! 

3.     Having bad lunch for school like Marmite or fish paste.

4.     A beating from either your parents if you haven’t they need one.

5.     Having to eat vegetables for ice cream which is really a valuable lesson because you can’t run a marathon without putting a few band aids on your nipples (in text reference Horrible Bosses, 2011)

6.     BFF drama over whose lunch they eat the most.

7.     Playing house this is vital for every child’s growth.

8.     Being dumped!!!

9.     Being clueless about something everyone knows for me it was skipping rope.

10.  Awkward menstrual cycle lesson whether biology or life orientation.

11. Going to the mall without parental supervision if this hasn’t happened for you please find a way to contact world’s worst mom she will help.

12.Smoking teabags or newspapers after a family braai and chocking on it.

13.Playing Marco polo.

14. Fighting for the cartoon channel rather than the music one and after wards fighting for the music channel rather than the cartoon one. If this hasn’t occurred you seriously need to grow up dude.

15.Booty hopping without your mum’s permission. Please take note that in my childhood this was seen a completely heinous act.

16.Having a crush that could care less about you but you just can’t get over them.

17. Realising that kissing guys isn’t really gross or that you don’t need to beat a guy to the pulp in order to show your love.

18.Eating dirt and baking mud pies.

19.Having mixed feeling about everything such as school, your parents, being a girl or boy yep this does happen.

20.Finally has to be reading your older sisters diary. If you haven’t I urge you to do it, it is like unlocking the Pandora’s box.     

OUT WITH THE OLD IN WITH THE NEW (BUT I GUESS NEW IS OLD NOW)

This has got to be one of my most embarrassing moments worse than that time I fell knees first in front of a robot (Gosh don’t get on my case we know it’s a traffic light it just sounds better and cooler that way like if you say it slow like rooowbooooot! Emphasise the t people!!) Well while I was feeling like I had just been stabbed in the abdominal by Joe (from the following). I have to say I would re-live that moment than reminding myself that I wrote this speech but for you guys anything. So this is my speech to impress but I don’t know who. Here it goes: “It started with Elvis Presley, and then it went to the late Michael Jackson but question still remains who will be Hollywood’s next it-factor. I would say Hollywood is like going war you kill or be killed or something more subtle it is like an open grocery store taunting your hunger, you steal or starve to death after 3 weeks of feeling like someone is digging a whole inside your stomach and throwing rocks into it. It started with Chris Brown the boy with a huge smile some even promised to dance with him forever but after he turned out to be a woman basher some didn’t want to crawl back to love with him (even after the woman he bashed did) because they were suddenly diagnosed with Bieber fever the new H1N1 in town, the symptoms would be females mostly in the age of (13-16) turning red hot on their checks and males visiting the barber more often ( why they are intimidated by a 17 year old at that time whipping his hair back and forth I do not know). With him finding someone to love who is Disney’s finest Selena Gomez (whom I personally think wasn’t made by him since I’m such a Wizards of Waverly Place fan. Yes us teenagers particularly 19 year olds don’t only watch Phineas and Ferb. So while others are chucking up the deuces the teen sensation (Justin) is making movies or whatever that never says never crap is. Is Justin Bieber the next Hollywood it-factor because it suddenly seems like when he smiles people smile or maybe Sue’s hypothesis on if smiling is contagious is really true. There it goes served on a silver platter. Enjoy!!

P.S. It is sad that this was presented in an English Home Language Class. (got to love my school)

BEFORE YOU SLIT YOUR WRIST PLEASE READ THIS!!

So here I am surfing the Internet for current stories with teenagers for inspiration for my blog post like I always do and these are the top topics:

1.     Unconscious

2.     Inches from death

3.     Suicide and media

4.     The antibiotic epidemic

5.     Invisible

Personally I thought I would get a lot of stories about boys but sadly I was disappointed. Therefore I dedicate these 8 best jokes from the internet to everyone who is writing or feeling like writing something like this.

·        Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?

·        Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Student: A teacher!

·        Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills.

·        How can you tell if a man is lying? You can see his lips moving.

·        Kanye West compared himself to Michelangelo, Picasso, Walt Disney and Steve Jobs. Apparently none of them could sing, either.

·        Two children, Johnny and Alex were sitting outside a clinic. Alex was crying very loudly. Johnny: Why are you crying? Alex: I came here for a blood test. Johnny: So? Are you afraid? Alex: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger. After hearing this Johnny started weeping making Alex feel surprised as well as curious and Alex asked: Why are you crying now? Johnny: I came for a urine test!

·        Death: It's your time. Give me your hand Blonde: No! I know that if I don’t touch you then I'll never die! Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You're sooo smart! High five! Blonde: *high fives* Death: Typical blonde.

·        I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits. Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.                                                                                          

Well I hope that your sense of humour is as easy as mine at 05:32 am in the morning.

PS. Before you slit your wrist read this

HE GIVES US STRENGTH AND HOPE AS WE GO TO BED!!!

It is amazing how a country can have care and love for a man that most have never met and that’s how you know that they have made a difference. For every time that Nelson Mandela gets critical the country continue to keep its hope. Hoping that he will stand up for his wheel chair and do the Madiba dance one last time. Others believe that one need to prepare for the worst but this seems like an option which doesn’t seem like one any South African want to take. This is a prayer that I and many citizens are saying for our former president.

Dear Lord of Mercy and Father of Comfort,

You are the One I turn to for help in moments of weakness and times of need. I ask you to be with your servant in this illness. Psalm 107:20 says that you send out your Word and heal. So then, please send your healing Word to your servant. In the name of Jesus, drive out all infirmity and sickness from his body.

Dear Lord, I ask you to turn this weakness into strength, suffering into compassion, sorrow into joy, and pain into comfort for others. May your servant trust in your goodness and hope in your faithfulness, even in the middle of this suffering. Let him be filled with patience and joy in your presence as he waits for your healing touch.

Please restore your servant to full health, dear Father. Remove all fear and doubt from his heart by the power of your Holy Spirit, and may you, Lord, be glorified through his life.

As you heal and renew your servant, Lord, may he bless and praise you.

All of this I pray in the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.