AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT (I apologise for my english)

So a few weeks ago I sent my 10 weird ways to keep warm without spooning to college humor and this is what they said:

“Dear Lucashley

Thank you for submitting you article entitled 10 weird ways to keep warm without spooning to college humor. Our editors decided that it is not quite right for us, but we encourage that you keep sending your ideas.

Thank you

College Humor”

When I finished reading this I was baffled because how can a post be viewed 37 times if it is not quite right. Which is why on this day at the UKZN computer labs, I’m proposing a toast to 10 weird ways to keep warm without spooning and many more views to come.

P.S THEY DON’T DESERVE ME ANYWAY BUT I WILL STILL VIEW THEIR WEBSITE.

 

YOU MIND MATTERS!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE
There isn't a lot I can say because this video just stands out on its own but I have to say I finally have hope for mankind.

10 USELESS THINGS PEOPLE CONSIDER AS HOBBIES

I myself do not know what the world has turned into. So while I was surfing the Internet (because it’s easier less waves and the only danger is bad network not being mistaken for a seal by a shark) something popped up and inspired this publish. 10 Useless Things People Consider As Hobbies:

1.     Calligraphy. If you are Greek please don’t be offended but what is the point of learning to write differently.

2.   Collecting dolls and doll houses. Unless it is a Darth Vader action figure throw the stupid doll away and stop hoarding.

3.  Ghost hunting. Well this hobby has led to a ridiculous TV show which actually has seasons I’m sure people know it Ghost Lab where you actually don’t see the ghost but rather grown men screaming saying that they were touched by ghosts that it talked.

4. Metal detecting. Last time I checked that only happened at airports and schools so I don’t know whether these people are retired security guards or old prefects.

5. Puppetry. This was fun before kids started playing with ipads. Seriously the world is evolving please do so as well.

6.  Train riding or collecting. The idea of an old person playing with toys is just plain weird. You can call them model trains but the fact still remains that they were created for child entertainment.

7.    Remote controlling. This one was mainly put here for its name, for a moment I actually thought that it is when people collect a bunch of remotes but actually it is anything that contains radio remote control which actually isn’t that exciting unless you are controlling a real car like those guys on Top Gear UK to be specific.

8.   Yo-yoing. Please note that even I who was born during the peak of yoyos do not play with yoyos anymore.

9.  Mushroom hunting. Portabella, brown, porcini all these are mushrooms fantastic mushrooms. Wild mushrooms are vile and toxic tasting. So I’m sorry to burst your bubble but please quit now.

10. Parkouring. The fact that this has turned into a career I do not know how. But everything is a career in America even pumpkin carving YES pumpkin carving.  

Please don’t think that because this list is small there is less.  

20 THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE EXPERIENCED AT 18!!

So today I viewed GREG RUTTER’S DEFINITIVE LIST OF THE 99 THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE ALREADY EXPERIENCED ON THE INTERNET UNLESS YOU ARE A LOSER OR OLD OR SOMETHING. 

This article has inspired me to write:

20 THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE EXPERIENCED AT 18!

1.     I have to say if you have never experienced this and you are with your parents please apply to go to a foster home. The first thing that you should have experienced is peanut butter and jam (this is best with preserved mixed berries jam) to accommodate Americans it’s peanut butter and jelly.

2.     If you haven’t experienced Barney not the pervert from How I met your mother (he is legendary) I mean the purple big boned bear that likes giving group hugs You Suck! 

3.     Having bad lunch for school like Marmite or fish paste.

4.     A beating from either your parents if you haven’t they need one.

5.     Having to eat vegetables for ice cream which is really a valuable lesson because you can’t run a marathon without putting a few band aids on your nipples (in text reference Horrible Bosses, 2011)

6.     BFF drama over whose lunch they eat the most.

7.     Playing house this is vital for every child’s growth.

8.     Being dumped!!!

9.     Being clueless about something everyone knows for me it was skipping rope.

10.  Awkward menstrual cycle lesson whether biology or life orientation.

11. Going to the mall without parental supervision if this hasn’t happened for you please find a way to contact world’s worst mom she will help.

12.Smoking teabags or newspapers after a family braai and chocking on it.

13.Playing Marco polo.

14. Fighting for the cartoon channel rather than the music one and after wards fighting for the music channel rather than the cartoon one. If this hasn’t occurred you seriously need to grow up dude.

15.Booty hopping without your mum’s permission. Please take note that in my childhood this was seen a completely heinous act.

16.Having a crush that could care less about you but you just can’t get over them.

17. Realising that kissing guys isn’t really gross or that you don’t need to beat a guy to the pulp in order to show your love.

18.Eating dirt and baking mud pies.

19.Having mixed feeling about everything such as school, your parents, being a girl or boy yep this does happen.

20.Finally has to be reading your older sisters diary. If you haven’t I urge you to do it, it is like unlocking the Pandora’s box.     

OUT WITH THE OLD IN WITH THE NEW (BUT I GUESS NEW IS OLD NOW)

This has got to be one of my most embarrassing moments worse than that time I fell knees first in front of a robot (Gosh don’t get on my case we know it’s a traffic light it just sounds better and cooler that way like if you say it slow like rooowbooooot! Emphasise the t people!!) Well while I was feeling like I had just been stabbed in the abdominal by Joe (from the following). I have to say I would re-live that moment than reminding myself that I wrote this speech but for you guys anything. So this is my speech to impress but I don’t know who. Here it goes: “It started with Elvis Presley, and then it went to the late Michael Jackson but question still remains who will be Hollywood’s next it-factor. I would say Hollywood is like going war you kill or be killed or something more subtle it is like an open grocery store taunting your hunger, you steal or starve to death after 3 weeks of feeling like someone is digging a whole inside your stomach and throwing rocks into it. It started with Chris Brown the boy with a huge smile some even promised to dance with him forever but after he turned out to be a woman basher some didn’t want to crawl back to love with him (even after the woman he bashed did) because they were suddenly diagnosed with Bieber fever the new H1N1 in town, the symptoms would be females mostly in the age of (13-16) turning red hot on their checks and males visiting the barber more often ( why they are intimidated by a 17 year old at that time whipping his hair back and forth I do not know). With him finding someone to love who is Disney’s finest Selena Gomez (whom I personally think wasn’t made by him since I’m such a Wizards of Waverly Place fan. Yes us teenagers particularly 19 year olds don’t only watch Phineas and Ferb. So while others are chucking up the deuces the teen sensation (Justin) is making movies or whatever that never says never crap is. Is Justin Bieber the next Hollywood it-factor because it suddenly seems like when he smiles people smile or maybe Sue’s hypothesis on if smiling is contagious is really true. There it goes served on a silver platter. Enjoy!!

P.S. It is sad that this was presented in an English Home Language Class. (got to love my school)